Saturday 27th October

Back at work for me. Judy Finnigan is signing her new fiction book. I decide to buy a copy as a Christmas present for mum. I approach the table where she’s doing the signing, and haven’t a clue what to say. I’d heard that she has recently become a grandmother for the first time, so what comes out of my mouth (still croaky) is “Congratulations, I hear there’s a new baby in the family. You must come to visit our lovely childrens department!” Of course, she hadn’t noticed  my uniform, so she just thought I was one of the barmy ones and gave me a fixed smile. But she is lovely though. I then spotted Richard, her husband. Hmm, I wonder… “Excuse me, “ I croak, “I know this sounds cheeky, but would you be able to sign Judy’s book for me?” He’s very tall, but also very lovely and graciously signs the book – well, actually, scrawls – I’m trying to hold the book in mid-air while he signs, and as everybody knows, writing on anything but a solid surface is no good for neatness.

I get home to find that Megan's friend, C, is staying for tea – in fact, she’s been here all afternoon. It turns out that there’d been a mix-up in communication between C’s mum and B’s mum, and C’s mum thought the party had been postponed when in fact it hadn’t, and it had gone ahead yesterday! Steve had turned up at B’s house with C, Megan and Brody, only to find that B and her mum had gone to London. “Is this is a wind-up?” says Steve. Sadly, no. How embarrassing, but how upsetting for the girls, they were really looking forward to it. I somehow feel to blame – had my wishful thinking actually come true? Megan didn’t get to surf in the freezing cold sea after all. Oh dear, I’m a witch.

Brody now has a pattern. Wakes up at 2.30am, Steve takes him out, back to sleep, wakes about 5.30, Steve takes him out. My alarm goes off 6.30 (if I’m not already awake from all this activity), I go downstairs to give Steve chance to have a shower (we can’ t leave Brody on his own – he’d go mental). We all have breakfast (not Brody). Brody barks all the way through our breakfast while jumping up on our chairs. After breakfast, he’s right next to your feet/behind you until you make his breakfast. Eat in 30 seconds. Out for wee. Back to sleep for hour or so – chance for us to do chores/work/general freedom. Wakes up and wants to play. Out for toilet break. Pulls clothes off drier stand, chews table, tries to eat wires, eats cobwebs and spiders, out in garden to eat all the plants, twigs, moss, dirt, slugs (very dangerous). I  have lost hope in keeping my plants alive for another year. Sob.

Lunch – if we eat first he barks all the way through while jumping up; if he eats first, he finishes in 30 seconds and then barks all the way through ours while jumping up. Manic play follows as above, then sleep for hour or so, then tea. Repeat of super manic behaviour (worse after tea).  There are repeated attempts at getting upstairs, even though there is nobody up there as we’re all downstairs, so this is an obvious attempt at a)escape, b)sabotage of everything in bedrooms, as he has now fulfilled his goal of sabotageing everything in the living room. Sleep for 3 hours, so then forced to wake up at about 10pm for forced play before bedtime at 11pm.

Oh, he had a major bump today apparently while I was at work. He was running around outside like a maniac after the ball, when either he didn’t see it or he couldn’t stop in time but he went smack bang into one of the big stone flower pots. Ouch. He was apparently very dazed and needed cuddles after. I hope he’s ok.